DOG.

Due to popular demand, and to increase my Internet Fame, Fat Fat Cat now has a twitter. So follow for updates. Or you could click that little follow button in the bottom right corner and get email updates instead, as well as an exciting personal message straight from the heart.

@thefatfatcat

I don’t have anything new to post yet, so I’ll post something really old along with a story.

When I was growing up I spent much of my youth trying to convince my father to get a dog. It was a tough road I chose to follow. But I persevered! It began with brief mentions of the benefits of owning such a wonderful creature. Then inevitably, it progressed to begging, tears, and the pointing out of every dog everywhere all the time. Along with exclamations of praise at their beautiful physique and the joy shining in the eyes of the proud owner (if the owner looked exceptionally annoyed with their dog, I was careful to distract attention away from them with a well thought out shout of, “I’ve decided my favorite color is clear!”).

Over the years, my efforts became more extreme. With the discovery of petfinder.com, my father began to receive copious amounts of emails stating, “I found this dog and thought of you!” I could see it in his eyes, the resolve slowly cracking. This boost in confidence led me further down the road of obsession. I MUST GET THIS DOG. IT IS HAPPENING. I AM ALMOST THERE. DOG. Soon my father was finding magazine cut-outs of dogs in his closet, briefcase at work, and in his underwear drawer. And since we had a family computer, he began to find files such as this on his desktop:

But still, even after all these awe-inspiring tactics, he refused to get a dog. I’m not really sure what happened at this point in my life. It’s a really just a blur of disappointment, pain, and doglessness. I think I blocked out a significant chunk of time due to the trauma of never owning a dog in my life and the fact that I would never, ever own a dog. Ever.

I drifted through the years, feeling as though I was missing my other half. Empty. Cold. Lonely. I wasn’t truly living.

Then, after 10 years of grueling efforts and frustrated tears, my father suddenly decided, yes. Yes, I could have a dog.

It was sort of anticlimactic actually. But I wasn’t going to complain. DOG!!!!!

So we went and got a German Shepherd who turned out to have Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Separation Anxiety, and over-protective issues.

The End. (Moral of the story: Dogs, like babies, are better when you can return them at the end of the day.)

I also found this picture I drew in 8th grade of some hobbits. So now you know that I like things other than Harry Potter.